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Raising Confident Kids

Updated: Jan 15


Confident children feel valued, resulting in their enjoying healthier and happier lives. They are more likely to persevere, stay positive, and thrive. And they are more likely to pour their efforts into caring for others, spreading God's love as they serve in Jesus' name.


Homeschooling allows you more time with your children, during which you can take purposeful steps to boost their self-confidence, in turn providing a good foundation on which they can build rich, fulfilling lives.


Read on to discover several ways in which you can boost your child's confidence!

1. Have your kids help.

Though children sometimes complain when you ask them to help, they actually feel more connected and valued when you count on them. Ask your children to help out in ways that they are able, according to their ages and abilities. (For example, a toddler can hand you a tissue while an older child can help clean the house.) That feeling of being needed is invaluable!

3. Set goals.

While discussing your child's interests and passions and setting personal goals, you reassure your child that you will be there to support and help him along the way. With each new accomplishment, your child will become more confident in his abilities to work through unfamiliar steps to accomplish new and more complex goals, giving him the courage to try unexplored interests and new tasks. After all, he will be able to apply the new skills he learns along the way to achieve future goals, building up valuable experience that will help him confidently work through his responsibilities as an adult.


Help your child turn his interests and passions into goals by helping him list what he would like to accomplish. Then, help him write down smaller steps he can take that will ultimately lead to accomplishing his goal.



2. Praise your child for his efforts.

You are your child's biggest cheerleader, and your positivity will make a world of difference! While praising your child for accomplishments is easy, it is more important that you praise him for his efforts, regardless of the outcome. When you show your child that you realize the effort it took for him to accomplish a task and praise him for that effort, you reassure him that he is valued just the way God made him, giving him confidence in who he is and the abilities he has.


It takes hard work to develop new skills. And if a child experiences learning difficulties along the way, it may take extra time! If a task is difficult for your child, be careful not to take over and complete his task for him. That could send the message that you don't believe he can do it. Instead, guide, encourage, and walk alongside your child, patiently supporting and helping him through tough tasks one step at a time. If he becomes tired or weary, take a break. If he is ready to give up, remind him of the last time he didn't think he could accomplish something, and point out which previous skills he learned which he can now use to accomplish the next step. All this will nurture your child's willingness to persevere through future challenges, giving him more confidence through every step.



4. Redefine failure.

Reassure your children that not accomplishing something as planned is a huge step toward success. Why? Because every setback is an opportunity to learn! To have the opportunity to step back, identify issues, and develop new strategies is a gift, allowing one to develop perseverance and gain new skills that are invaluable when facing every future task at home and in professional atmospheres. Instead of being crippled by the fear of failure, this knowledge will build up their confidence, cultivating enthusiasm as they look forward to working toward new goals and responsibilities and discovering what they will learn throughout the process.



5. Show unconditional love.

Make sure your children know that you think they are wonderful and that you love them—no matter what! Always reassure them of your understanding and love by humbly sharing that you have been through tough times, too. This will reassure them that you are there to help and guide them, not judge them. Your love and reassurance will help them see that they are valuable…even when they’re not feeling good about themselves.


6. Model confidence yourself.

This doesn’t mean you have to pretend to be perfect, but rather willing to try something new and persevere through every step, whether tough or easy, while exhibiting a positive attitude. Through your actions, you demonstrate courage, determination, perseverance, and a willingness to develop new solutions along the way…all characteristics that help make progress possible. You even get an added bonus—gaining unforeseen skills as you work toward your new achievement. After all, as we strive to improve skills, we sharpen the gifts God gave us and open doors to ever-increasing ways in which we can serve God and others. All of this will encourage your child to be more confident in trying something new himself!

While these are great ways to help your child become confident…the most important step to help your child gain confidence is to teach your child how immeasurably important they are to God. The first step is to teach your child that he is made in God’s image, created unique in every way on purpose for a purpose (Genesis 1:27, Psalm 139:13-16). Reassure your child that God truly cares for each and every one of us unconditionally (Matthew 10:29-31, John 3:16). Then research tools and curriculum that will reiterate this biblical perspective, so he understands how deep God's love goes and what that means in his life.


Like mine, it is likely your self-confidence will be strengthened too as you teach—or more appropriately said—learn alongside your child, discovering that the Bible is relevant in every facet of our lives through your study of science, history, math, reading, English, spelling, and handwriting. Viewing all these aspects of life and God's creation through the lens of the Bible will reassure you how unique and infinitely valuable you are to God too. This is the beauty of what happens when every aspect of study is built on the foundation of God's word.


-Yvonne Strachan










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